bsterzenbach - rants and whines

Zune Death Y2K9 - Now I want one!

2009-01-01T06:37:00.000-08:00

I was pretty intrigued by the zune issue that popped up today, so I thought I'd go look at the posts from the people who actually had the problem. One thing I discovered right away was that the overwhelming majority of them said something to the effect of 'I've never had a problem with my Zune before' - this is fantastic! I've never seen such a thing. Normally when something catastrophic happens to hardware, readers are rewarded with a litany of every issue the user has ever had with their device.

My opinion? This is the best advertising Microsoft could get (for weirdos like me who read help forums).

I'm seriously thinking of getting one of these. Think about it - it's the 2006 model that had the issue, and here it is 2009 and most of the people are saying they've NEVER had an issue with it - nice

B

Customer Service - When Have You Created "Quality"

2008-07-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

I often struggle with what the heck customer service really is. I've seen so many forms and flavors and I don't really feel that any of them left me feeling all that "serviced". Over the years I've tried many different philosophies on this and I'm starting to think I knew the answer all along.

In my early years I worked for my dad quite a bit. He owned a locksmithing business here in town and it was a great gig going through college because he would let me tailor my hours around school. Of course we had the regular dad/son fights and what-not, but overall I think it was a pretty sweet deal (for me anyway). One thing I used to laugh about was my dad's abuse of the customers. He truly had no compunctions about telling a customer to stop 'hanging over his shoulder' while he was working, or to "stop whining" when they complained about a price. He was basically an old hard-ass. But all that not withstanding, my dad TRULY believed in customer service - well, his brand of (old school) customer service anyway.

My dad believed in the following 3 anchors of customer service:
Fast Service
Affordable Prices
Quality Work

He never articulated this, but it was VERY clear that these were the three things he valued most - because if you violated any of these three core tenets, you could expect a vitriolic tongue-lashing in your next encounter. I've been on the receiving end of a few of these and I've spectated a few directed at the other guys that worked for him at the shop.

Notice that nowhere in that list is "the customer is always right" or "always be kind to the customer". Don't misunderstand - he was not abusive to customers, he was just very no-nonsense when dealing with them. He took complaints very seriously, was courteous on the phone, and tried his best to be professional. He just didn't believe that you could replace fast, affordable, quality work with lip service.

I'm starting to gain a new respect for his philosophy as I deal with many of the companies that I depend on for my business. I find the following to be their strategy:

Be Kind
Paraphrase the problem to the customer so they know you understand
Empathise ("I know this is frustrating, and we will take care of it")
Promise resolution ("we will take care of this for you today")
Be Kind

Notice nowhere in that list do we see any indication that the problem will actually be corrected, or that that they truly have an understanding of the underlying cause of the problem. This is the 'new deal' warm and fuzzy customer service. They have replaced qualified support folks with people who can 'be nice' at all costs.

I think I've come to understand that there must be a mix somewhere in between these two disparate philosophies. I think the old man had it esentially right though - his customers didn't always consider him their best friend, but they kept coming back because he kept true to "real" quality.

Remembering Norman 'Norm' Sterzenbach 9/14/1922 - 2/23/2007

It's Not Easy to Ask Why..Why is That?

2008-03-29T06:49:00.000-07:00

One of the principles I try to encourage my folks here at Oxiem to adopt is the concept of 'the persistent why'. It's easy to ask why once. For example, I was working with an SEO client and he informed me that he needed to be ranking for 3 specific keywords. I asked why. He said - they are the most important to my industry. It would have been very easy to stop there and say 'OK, makes sense' but it was more important to discover how he arrived at his conclusion. This is the second why.
Bill: WHY are these keywords important to your industry?
Client: Because this is what my customers search on when looking for my service.
Bill: How do you know that?
Client: Experience
Bill: Excellent - this may save us some learning - what data did you use to arrive at this? We can simply leverage this data instead of going through the exercize all over again.
Client: My gut, and in talking to customers.
Bill: Oh.

This began a long conversation about the importance of real data. I told the client that our research may in fact bear out his assumptions, but without data, we'd be opening ourselves up to much potential wheel-spinning. He did not like this, but in the end it turned out to be VERY beneficial for his success.

The point is, asking the second, third, and beyond whys are what makes us valuable to our clients. Many of them are not accustomed to being asked why, and some even bristle, but ultimately, this is why they hire us.

Lack of Scope - Common Responses

2008-03-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Lack of Scope - a project killer for sure..projects with no finite definition of 'are we there yet?' and clients with little patience for being 'pinned down' to a set of deliverables. You WILL have these clients from time to time, and they are most certainly manageable - in fact they can be quite profitable clients in many cases, they just take a different style of management. In my years of managing technology projects, I've discovered that there are some fairly classifiable reactions to lack of scope.

The responses to lack of scope run a wild arc from doing surprising little for the money to packing so much into a project it becomes unusable. Many experienced firms will see lack of scope as a great money-maker as they will promise little and give even less. The client doesn't know what they need, so they never know if they received any value. If they dare complain to the development firm, they will be met with 'We gave you what we promised'. Note this is a far toss from 'We gave you what you needed'. Inexperienced architects tend to 'overgive' - they feel that if they 'just do more' the client will love the end result. The problem with this thinking is that it's usually NEVER enough of the right stuff and WAY too much of the wrong stuff. The client wants a shopping cart with 'all the bells and whistles' so the provider creates a shopping cart with 30 different kinds of discounting methods, but no wishlist or forward-to-friend functionality, so in the end it's discovered that the client really meant that he wanted more 'social' functionality and less 'pricing' functionality and the client is disappointed. Here it's a case of 'we did our very best' - but we all know that this is a slipperly benchmark at best. The client creates these situations as it's sort of a 'I'll tell you when you guess it' approach to project management, and it can be tricky. These clients aren't evil and they aren't stupid, the're just busy. The good news is that I've discovered something..if you know what you're doing you can usually strike a really nice balance for the client with very little input.

The reason an experienced (and introspective) manager can find the sweet spot so easily is because they have done so damn many of these types of projects (whatever type it is) and they 'just know' what needs to be in there. Also, you learn to read a client, their culture, and past projects they have commissioned and you get a feel for what rings their bell. With the understanding of 'what just works', some knowledge of the clients psyche, and a little patience, you can give the client something that is in their budget, satifies their wish to get some value out of their investment, and most importantly, actually creates a positive result for the client.

Pull Handles on Push Doors

2008-02-17T09:14:00.000-08:00

Crazy thing happened to me last week. I was giving one our our associates a 20 minute diatribe on usability, mentioning that people don't need options, they need clear, simple objectives on pages and on and on. At the end of my brilliant monologue, I needed to take a bathroom break (the same coffee that inspired my brilliance inspired the need to break). As I approached the bathroom door, I noticed a guy going in before me. He approached the door and pulled on the handle - but it's a push door. The problem was that they put a 'universal' handle on the door, and this confused the man. It's not that the guy was stupid, it's just that he didn't want to take the time to figure out the door - he assumed the interface would make it clear as to what was expected of him. This is what I was explaining to my work associate - I was telling him that you must police the development of systems to obey Einsteins basic rule:

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."

This seems like a cute and clever saying, but it truly has great meaning. The application to webpage design is critical because it's so easy to try and be everything to everybody. Many clients want lots of shortcuts, lots of options and many many features. This is a noble goal, but the problem is many users will be confused by too many options. Equally dangerous is the desire to make an interface ridiculously simple, thus shutting out savvy users who would be insulted by an overly simplified interface.

Einstein had it right, and little has emerged to refute this.

Crazy People Sure Write Small

2008-01-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen a crazy dude with a sign? Have you ever seen some nutty rant on the side of some farmhouse about the evils of a fiat financial system or some other such nutcase blather? Did you notice something they have in common?

They always use really tiny writing.

It's infuriating! I mean, HONESTLY - if you're going to stand on the corner and 'expose' some hidden evil, shouldn't I be able to ACTUALLY READ IT?? Seriously, what's the point?

I've given this much thought and it finally came to me. These people are nuts. They write tiny because they are nuts. But more importantly they are zealous. No, more importantly they are nuts, but as a semi-interesting side-note they are zealots. The reason these fruitcakes write so tiny is because they have SO MUCH TO SAY. They couldn't possibly imagine putting a large 4 sentence statement out there and building on it over time. They fail to comprehend the value of the understated.

This reminds me of a very common type of marketing client. The small-business client. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE marketing for small business folks - they are fast on their feet, unfettered by organizational nonsense, and generally appreciative of good work. It's just that they are so very INTENSE about their products and services..

Here is what I'm saying..the small business person LOVES what they do. They feel that they do it best, they feel that they offer a level of quality and service that is unparalleled, and they are generally right. How this becomes a problem is that they want to CONVEY this to the customer in every piece of marketing they do. This goes back to the small writing thing..invariably, when we create ad copy, there is always a request to 'add' copy. It's because they believe in their service and want the customer to know about it. The thing is, a good marketer can do this in 12 words of copy.

One example - from a friend of mine who was doing some marketing for a local technology company - he was just spitballing when he said 'Instant Support from Someone Whose Name Really Is 'Bob'". This headline was never used, and clearly would need some tweaking, but the concept really fits this discussion. The headline replaces the following paragraph of text:

We provide support for all of our products and services. Our company offers
technical support that is fast and local. When you call our office, you will
reach a native english speaking tech support person.

All of that summed up in one cute headline. Most importantly though, it strikes to the heart of the issue - people are frustrated at being relegated to a third-party tech support person reading a script on another contintent. They want to speak with someone who is from their hemisphere that speaks their language. Not that there is anything wrong with using a third-party to provide support - it's just that this model has been so poorly deployed and abused that it carries with it the perception of complete frustration and pointlessness.

India - How COULD you??!!....!!

2008-01-03T06:07:00.001-08:00

Well..here we have it folks. India's tourism folks have decided to stop accepting the dollar.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,319807,00.html

My question is, why did they EVER accept the dollar? We don't take THEIR currency at our great tourism spots. I understand that many countries take our currency because we are such a financing force for their tourism markets, but it's OK if we have to exchange to trade. For example, I don't recall the heritage museum in Springfield offering rupees as an accepted currency for the non-compulsory donation box..

I think this is just an example of the media say Nyeah Nyeah Oh how the mighty have fallen..etc. etc. ad nauseum..

My take? Who CARES if India's tourism attractions don't take the dollar?

I'm a Marketer

2007-12-29T08:13:00.001-08:00

MAN do I have a problem with people who THINK they are marketers just because the WORK at a marketing company. This really hit home the other day. I was sitting in a meeting with some high-level research guys who do focus groups, and they were discussing some of the techniques and terms and I realized that I had no idea what value I could bring to the discussion. Here's the kicker - for the most part I kept my mouth shut. I didn't regale them with lame marketing truisms and "my thoughts" on the subject. You see, just because I work with these guys doesn't mean I have the faintest hope of telling them anything they don't already know. The BEST I can hope to do is keep from exposing my stupidity on the subject - and here silence is my friend.

I sit in meetings a lot with mixed groups from different marketing perspectives. Generally there is one really experienced marketing person in the meeting, a couple of new marketers (AE's) and a couple of technical people. Without exception I get to hear the thoughts of the technical folks on switch testing or on demographics or some others area of expertise in which they have no knowledge. This drives me nuts. When I want to know how to most efficiently perform a great circle calculation or truly randomize a result, I'll ring your friggin bell. Note - I'M a technical guy - I started in the business as a coder. The difference with me is that I've spent years putting together marketing plans, many that have failed, some that have succeeded. Often I used my own money, or had to personally address the failures with the client. I'm always reading a new book on marketing or attending a conference. I eat, drink, breathe, etc marketing. I truly LOVE marketing. This is what makes me a marketer.

We're not just talking about technical people here though. This applies to anybody who joins a marketing company with no experience in marketing - and I mean real marketing. Please, for all of our benefits, just listen for a couple of years. Then put your ass on the line a couple of times and feel the burn, THEN let's have your thoughts on our project.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to hear the thoughts of everyone on some things. Often folks who are not long-time marketers will have ideas that are great. I just take issue with statements such as "Never use Red in a design" and "if it takes more than 2 clicks to get there..", etc. I mean, do you have some DATA to back this up?

I guess what I'm saying is...there was a wize old owl who lived in an oak..

More Like Reagan

2007-10-23T20:20:00.000-07:00

Man, how many times have I heard this on talk radio in the last 6 months. "We need a candidate more like Reagan", "We need to be more like Reagan", "Reagan Conservative", etc. I happen to agree that Reagan was a GREAT conservative - I didn't agree with everything he did - but he was a great man. One thing Reagan had going for him was that he was no mitigator. He was often pushed to tone down his language, but he stood for a few things that he did NOT budge on.
Now - during one of the most critical elections for the conservative movement, most conservatives are saying - "Pick the best Hillary alternative". This is not AT ALL like Reagan. Look guys - it's easy to say "Be like Reagan" - it's a lot harder to ACTUALLY be like Reagan. To do this we'd have to say No, we WON'T settle for the easiest Hillary alternative - we DEMAND a real conservative for our party. This is what Reagan would do.

Why do I feel like we're gonna get Rudy regardless? Not that I have an axe to grind with Rudy, I just don't like feeling like I'm being sold on this guy. I mean we're already being pre-tenderized with the "Who's gonna pick the best judges" talk. Yeah, picking judges is important, but so is prosecuting wars - and I don't mean the kind of prosecuting we've been hearing about from the left - mean really running a war. Are any of the Better-Than-Hillary's TRULY the man you want at the helm during war time?

eGADS I'd love to see a ballsey conservative who's not nuts come forward and really run on conservatism.

Splash Pages - Don't Make Me Kill You

2007-10-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

OK, we now have 10 years of hate-pages devoted to these "splash pages" with the "Click here to skip" buttons, but I STILL see these abominable things out there.

Let me ask you this: Why, oh why, would you EVER have something on your web page that would NEED a button that says "click here to skip"? Extending the question - "Why, oh Lord WHY would you put such an atrocity on your HOME PAGE??".

Look at this from a brick-and-mortar perspective. Your website homepage is the entrance to your website. How would you feel if you stepped into your local WalMart and just as you approached the door a 10X10 video screen dropped down in your way and you had to click a "click here to actually go into the store" button? You would hate it. Well my friend, this is no different than a splash page. Your visitor is walking into your site, he has a problem and hopes your site can solve it. He's not interested IN THE LEAST in a series of fading vignettes depicting products, happy customers, or "compelling" UVP derivatives, he wants to land on a homepage and see a possible solution to his problem. This narcissism is all part of what I call "me creep" and it happens to most websites eventually. I'll cover that in another post.

Now, since your homepage is the default page to your website. It's the defacto standard method by which folks come to your website. So we have established that visitors expect this page to be your one-stop-shop for links into the rest of the site, let's give that to them.

Who's been monkeying with the Doomsday Clock?

2007-10-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

Around my house we have a simple policy - if you move the clock up or back for some pointless mind-game to help everyone be more punctual - tell everyone so they can do the internal calculations necessary to be 5 minutes late for every event we attend. You never, I repeat NEVER monkey around with the clock without alerting those who's lives are metered by the tick tick tick of those clocks.

A noble policy to be sure. And one that not only should apply to regular old house clocks, but it should apply to Big Ben, that guy you call to get the time then have to hear a low budget ad then the weather, and say, a metaphorical clock predicting how close we actually are to impending global annihilation .

Imagine my surprise when I stopped over to my favorite location for determining the acceptable green-ness of my next batch of bananas and I see that Global Warming® is now a consideration for the Doomsday Clock. Please, can somebody tell me how in the world the Doomsday clock came to incorporate global warming® in it's simple though prescient machinations? I mean, it IS maintained by the Board of Directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists. I mean, what about global warming is ATOMIC?? All my life, I've had one overriding, simple yet crystal fear - an apocalyptic fiery nuclear death. I knew that no matter how nice things got for me I could always count on a gloomy circa 1983 tv movie post-apocalyptic vision to kick me down a notch.

Well here come the global warming® folks to rain all over my parade, and real rain, not the drifting, fluffy nuclear kind. How in the world did a bunch of scientists allow this bit of political nonsense into their pure vision of global termination?

I guess I just wish someone had at least called me to see what I thought - I mean, I've been with the Doomsday clock as long as anybody and I thought we had something.

I guess nothing is forever (except nuclear fallout - ah, yesterday).